My journey as a mother has been a fun one since I found out in the Spring of 2009 I would be having my first child in the Winter of 2009. I was elated and scared. So many emotions to swallow and realize, this wasn’t a dream. I was sustaining a life within me that I would soon take care of 100% for the next 18+ years. The main emotion overwhelming me was morning sickness. But I cannot overlook the fact I felt blessed and I was.
I have been working since I was in diapers at my dad’s hobby shop and put in a good amount of years at a grocery store and then several more at a bank. Though I went to school for Graphic Design and Web Design, I hit so many walls after economic slam from September 11, 2001. It was impossible to find a good paying job when the market was inundated with several graduates in that field and old school printers going back to school for the new edge. So in my thinking then, I figured I would stick with banking to pay the bills and decide once married, if I would decide to be a stay at home mom or not.
My husband was able to find a Mechanical Engineering job right out of school thanks to a friends reference. We purchased a home and made improvements with the help of friends and family. During the renovation, we found out we were expecting. I was laying tile while pregnant, I was beat and couldn’t figure out why when I was used to being the energizer bunny. Soon we would be announcing to the family and then friends. We waited until my eight-week appointment to make sure everything looked okay and it was. So, we invited family over to a meal and then we did a left/right story for everyone to pass around an envelope. I teased them by saying, maybe lotto tickets or cash is inside to reward you all for your hard work (hahaha). As I read the story of my husband and I’s life, having them pass left and right based on the story, it was time. Each person opened their card and had different expressions. Most members said, “I knew it” or “I told you mama they would once they bought the house”… Some just gasped and were blank. But Overall, I feel they were happy of the news.
At this point, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be a stay at home mother or not. There were a lot of things going through my mind. I was unsure of my abilities. I worked with the Sunday school kids at church and older children, but felt I wasn’t sure how I would handle the change from working so many years. I was a workaholic and used to my income. Soon I would announce to my managers I was pregnant and shortly after my announcement. My manager called me into her office and talked with me about my goals. I knew where she was going. I told her I still was not clear on what I wanted to achieve in the banking world let alone career goal. A week later I would be transferred to another position in that department and knew they had me out of the door before I was even into my second trimester. I worked the call center department and realized I wasn’t going to be happy doing this. It was a lot of verbal abuse from customers who didn’t know how to balance a check book and poor management direction. I wasn’t sure yet if I was willing to give it up, but it felt like I was heading towards leaving that present job and turning it into a memory.
Into my second trimester, I was doing great. Proper weight gain, I was healthy and felt great. I was starting to feel the summer effects and disliked heat more and more. Soon my legs and feet were swelling to unrecognizable sizes and my heart was acting erratic. I had a few appointments and complained to them at each one about my symptoms and found myself seeing a heart specialist to just check things out. It was a Friday and the start of my vacation weekend/week. But would be informed of a loss very great to me. My husband’s grand-father passed away. It shocked me. He was a great man who I enjoyed being around. He understood me and I liked his wit. That weekend and week was very rough for me and the family. But I know that he is in a much better place and in peace. My vacation week was busy and still had my appointment for the baby and it didn’t feel like much of a vacation. I was still awaiting my results from the heart doctor and heart monitor package for a in-home stress-test but would find those out in the hospital. I went to my appointment and they found a large amount of protein in my urine and my blood pressure was insane. My doctor joked, “Your not wearing those slippers as a fashion statement, are you?”. I replied, “No, I can’t fit into anything.”. He asked me to go to the hospital and get more testing done and so, I did. They would not let me leave. I was admitted at 32 weeks pregnant to their high risk pregnancy floor with Pre-Eclamsia. I delivered at 37 weeks which is full term and fine with me. She was a healthy 8lb 4 oz baby at 20 3/4 inches. After being in the hospital three weeks and some odd days, I decided I would make up my mind once at home with the baby and see how I weather. I made my mind up close to the end of my leave and decided to stay home with my daughter and be the mother I always wanted to be. With the support, prayers and love from my husband, we knew we were doing the right thing. My paycheck was not worth her being raised in a day care like I was at six weeks of age.
Now we are onto the news of our second child, and we are thrilled. They will be exactly two years apart and we have been prepping our daughter for this welcomed addition. This will be are last addition as far as we know.
In less than six days, we find out the gender of our little one and cannot wait to share with our loved ones.
Have a blessed day. I hope you enjoyed reading this lengthy post. All 1,000+ of it. Hahaha